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Forgiveness is Power

It's strange how we reminisce about the days of our first jobs and how fun it was when we were able to goof off a little and how fun everyone was.  It's funny how those who were friends at work seem to fade with our memories.  However, those who treat you badly are those you never forget. 

Back in 1986, I got my first "real" job, working for a fabric store and it was a lot of fun.  Tough work being retail and being on my feet all day and all the cleaning and straightening we had to do was never a joy.  I worked there for four years but after a year, I became an assistant manager.  The woman who was the manager, I thought was my friend, and we'll call her "C" because I can't stand to hear her name or even write it cuz I'll have to hear her nasally Wisconsin accent. 

Oh yes, I said I thought we were friends and at the time, we really were or I was to her and I found out later it wasn't reciprocated.  I worked hard for her and was always a good employee.  Any crap management job she didn't want to do, she let me do it.  I didn't really mind so much because it was good experience. 

Through the years, she would let us make baby quilts and other store displays.  Company policy was that the displays had to be done at the store so when the fabric was sold out, we'd sell the display for costs.  Well, she always would let everyone make the things at home and then take the items home when the fabric was sold out.  She always said that we never had time to do them at the store so they needed to be done at home.  She even did the practice at home.  She said to just "not tell the division manager about it and no one would know."  Uh huh.

After about three years of working there, she promoted another gal into an assistant manager (which was fine with me - she deserved it!) but soon, I started getting the shit shifts and I would barely get enough hours to stay on full time.  I sensed that she didn't want me as her first assistant any more so I decided to go to work for my brother part time and still work for her the same amount of hours because I had a car payment to make and the drop in hours was difficult for me. 

She was peeved but I don't know what she expected me to do, I needed the money.  I spoke to her about it and she said she was trying to be fair but when I was first then I should have gotten the hours but she didn't do that. 

I heard she started talking trash about me and she made up gossip that I said about her and made sure it got back to me.  It was a total mess but I just did my job and was nice to everyone and even talked to her a few times about the "gossip" telling her it wasn't true but she already knew.  I actually knew the ax was coming soon because she played the same games with people before, who didn't kiss her ass. 

Within 2 months, she called me and told me that I was fired and the "District Manager found out that I'd been taking home store displays and I needed to bring those items back in or they'd hold my last check until I did." She also said she tried everything she could to help me but there wasn't anything she could do.  (yeah, right!)

The next day, I happened to know that the District Manager was in another local store so I went in to see him there and explained everything.  That it was C who told us to take things home and then we'd get to keep them and that she'd taken things home before herself.  He also said it was all her idea to fire me and he gave me a few examples of the reasons and everything was things that C did.  I had proof to show him on a few things to back up my story.  He believed me and he offered me my job back with another store of my pick and he'd promote me back to first assistant manager ASAP.  He even offered me another month in severance pay along with keeping all the things I made when I declined his generous offer. (I heard later on that she was forced to quit or else be fired... hmmm... wonder how that feels!!)

She called me about five years after the incident and wanted to "bury the hatchett" but I told her that was impossible because it was in my back!  Then one day last week, not knowing why, C popped into my head and I realized that after all these years, since 1990, I was still angry with her and I still had not forgiven her.  How silly is that?! 

I'm so much better off now and there is nothing I want from her so why haven't I forgiven her?  Did I still think I had the power over her because I hadn't forgiven her?  I found myself looking through FaceBook for her and was going to send her a message like "hi bitch, remember me?"

Then I smacked myself up the side of the head!  WTF was that about?!  I seriously need to forgive her and fast.  Knowing her, she probably loves the fact that I didn't forgive her... well... she can't smile any more because I have finally forgiven her.  She no longer holds the power over me and I don't really care about where she is or what she's doing.  I wish her and her family well but that's it. 

I have another story to tell about my job after I left this one.  Another unfair termination but I definitely had a better job than the fabric store.  And so it continues...

Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2012 at 12:26AM by Registered CommenterKaren | CommentsPost a Comment

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