It takes little to make a baby smile and that trait is something that we should carry with us as adults.  I find myself smiling constantly when I'm with all the babies, toddlers, and my nieces and nephews. 

While babysitting my grandniece, Eli last Friday at my house, she had eyes for my dad and it brought big smiles to his face and a tear or two in his eyes.  I snapped this photo when dad came downstairs to see what Eli and I were up to and this is the reaction he got.

 She's got so much love in her little body, it amazes me.  I took Eli with me to meet my friends for a late lunch and they loved her (again) and we had a lot of fun.  She didn't fuss at all and just took in all the new faces and sounds around her.  My friends got a laugh over the vibrating corncob toy (see last Monday's post "Gee Whiz... It Vibrates!", if you missed it!) ... you know I had to show them.  Me thinks I need to buy one for each of us now!  *snicker*

My grandnephew, Caleb is a cutie too.  He's the son of my nephew Tyler and his wife Sara (we have two Saras in our family).  Here is a video they made (it is set to music) of his first car.  He's 9 months old and weighs 24 lbs so he's a big guy and it's all muscle.

It's a great feeling seeing my nephews and nieces raising their own children. I'm so proud of all of them. Who in your life makes you smile?

I had a Gee Whiz moment Friday while watching my grandniece, Eli.  She grew tired of the set of toys she played with all day and I went to through the diaper bag to find another toy to entertain her.  I saw this cute little corn cob toy and I took it by the handle and proceeded across the room to give it to my young charge.  I grabbed the corn cob end to give it to Eli and as soon as I squeezed a bit, the corn cob vibrated!  Gee whiz - a corn cob that vibrates!  It's the John Deere Massaging Corn Teether.

It didn't occur to me how funny this was until I was telling Vickie about it Friday night.  We laughed and laughed over the fact that I had my Auntie Karen and Photographer hat on and didn't realize how funny it really was. 

Dang... I need to get me one of these!!  No, not for that...  It's a great little massager for stress relief... oh crap... never mind...  LOL

Gee whiz, it vibrates!Miss Eli and I had a great day together.  We played with toys, she ate lunch of sweet potatoes, we went for a walk around the apartment complex where there is lovely streams and ponds.  The ducks waddled and swam while we enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine.  Her daddy told me that taking her for a walk was a great way to get her to sleep, however, she did not fall asleep.  Rats.  She did take a short nap but she wanted to play more than anything.

It's amazing how much she changes in a week or two.  She is sitting up better and she is a lot more active; she really keeps me on my toes. 

While I tend Eli, I also get the pleasure of spoiling Bella, the Wonder Cat, and two dogs.  I'm allergic to dogs so I can't spoil them as much as I'd like but sometimes they don't care.  If Bella gets attention, they get attention!  Bella is usually a calm kitty but Friday, she was on crack!  Actually, she finally showed me her true personality and she is a hoot!  

Just My Size!She kept jumping up the wall to attack something that wasn't there, sliding and skitting around on the bathroom and kitchen floors, and sneaking up to the dogs and batting them on the heads a few times then running away.  She doesn't have claws so it was more irritating to them than anything and it made me laugh.  She tried to wear my Crocs on her paws and her head (I didn't get a shot of her head in the Croc - darn it!) and then flipping them around the floor.  She really got my attention when she kept trying to climb up my body (tough to do without claws!) until I finally sat down so she could share my lap with Eli. 

Eli was on my left and Bella was on my right and the two of them played a bit, Bella kissed Eli and she tugged on Bella's fur.  Bella buried her face between Eli's arm and body and nuzzled her a bit then she decided to climb my chest, which forced me to lay back in the chair.  She climbed over Eli and nuzzled my neck, then the next thing I knew, she flipped out my first earring hoop and had my second earring (a half carrot diamond!) in her mouth! 

I managed to get the diamond out of her mouth before she swallowed it and I thought she swallowed the other earring until I found it on the floor while looking for the back of the diamond earring.  I have no idea why she did it or how she could see my earrings because my hair covered them. Needless to say, I was a bit freaked but while Eli napped, she cuddled with me and kissed me all over my face so she's forgiven.  What a cat...

When Sara got home, I asked her if Bella was hitting the Nip.  She laughed and said it was normal for her to be hyper.  Bella never gets the Nip because she clearly does not need it!  ;-) 

I was outside for a bit over the weekend and took some photos of the latest blooms in my yard.  There are three daffodil blooms and about ten Forget-Me-Nots out so far.  The blue of the Forget-Me-Nots is so vibrant and I've waited a long time to get a good, clean shot of these.  Thanks to my lovely macro lens, I finally did it! 

Photos are copyrighted and can only be used with the expressed written permission by KJR.  

I wasn't able to attend the Wasatch Camera Club meeting tonight due to me feeling like poo.  My blood sugar dropped to 32 just before lunch today and despite me eating lunch AND a donut, it only got up to 80.  I felt rotten so I went home early to rest and do some work from home.  On the way home, I stopped and got a burrito, thinking the protein would help, which it did - a little.  My blood sugar went up a whole 10 points.  I am reactive hypoglycaemic and I've done well with controlling it by eating small meals five times a day but I don't know what happened yesterday but it hit me hard. 

After spending the evening feeling sorry for myself (LOL), I got a call from my friend, Darlene, who told me that she was bringing home a ribbon for me!  My photo of Eli, named "Sleeping Beauty" won 3rd place!  W00T!!  I'm so happy and excited - and of course, honored!  Darlene is bringing my ribbon to the pool this morning and I'm excited to show it off!  Darlene deserves part of the ribbon for helping me and encouraging me!  Thank you, Darlene!  You ROCK!  

I want to congratulate Darlene on placing 2nd with her photo!  WOOHOO!  We're both winners!   

Here is the photo of the Sleeping Beauty, Eli.  

 

Eli's mommy, Sara, sent me a photo of Eli eating her first veggie, sweet potatoes and to announce her first tooth finally broke through.  How cute is she?! 

I just love this little bug to pieces and it makes me feel good to have an active role in her life.  I love her daddy, Travis, as I would a son and her mommy like a daughter.  They love me for who I am and support me in whatever I do. 

Travis does me proud when plays practical jokes.  Speaking of jokes, I haven't heard how the letter did yet but I imagine Kent will get the letter today *evil grin*

Spring fills my soul with renewed passions ... I love spring!  These are photos of the tiny new flowers blooming in my garden. 

 

 

 

The promise of new beginnings ... the first tulip bloom of the year. 

© KJR Photos may not be used without my express written consent.  Thank you :-) 

Once again the season changes to spring, leaving the cold of winter behind as new life rises and breathes for the first time.  The tiny buds come from beneath the snow and reach for the sunshine. 

Last week, as I battled a second round of the cold/bronchitis, which returned with a vengeance Monday night, I found myself restless.  I thought a lot about things in my life that weren't working - or feeling right.  Foremost, I felt a void in what I hoped would last longer, perhaps the rest of my life.  The seasons change, once again and I found myself reaching for sunshine and wanting to put the cold behind me.  The winter was not all bad, I enjoyed the beatiful snow as it fell from the sky and how it sparkled in the sunlight. Perhaps who warmed my heart during the winter will return again in the summer or fall but for now, he needs to grow on his own.

This past winter, I almost fell in love with David, yet the past few weeks, it became apparent that something was wrong.  In the beginning, we spoke for hours about what we want out of a relationship and life.  I felt as if I'd found the man I always wanted.  An epiphany hit and I realized that what he said he wanted and what he was living were two different things. 

He wanted romance - both to give it and receive it but he didn't.  He wanted to give his heart - but it was not ready to give (which is what I sensed was wrong).  I was as more patient than I've ever been but my patience ran out when I realized that he was not ready for a relationship.  I'm setting him free and in doing so, I'm setting myself free.   

I know he came into my life for a reason and one day, that answer will be discovered.  My heart is not broken and I feel blessed that he was in my life.  I wish him well on his journey, but for now I'll flutter along on my own journey.  I'll continue to break through the soil of life... and reach for the sunlight.  This is a positive change and I feel good about it.

In the famous words of Ms. Vickie... Life is good.  Now if I can only set the bronchitis free, I'll be good.  ;-) 

Happy Easter! 

Much happened to me and to those I love recently; some was rough, however, most made me smile.  I'm grateful for the good things and for everyone in my life.

My dear friend, Emma, finished a huge project that she began in December; she wrote a bookazine for children on gardening.  I am immensely proud of her and praise her for all her good and hard work. Congratulations, Emma!  You deserve a huge celebration because you worked so hard and you are an amazing lady. 

A few weeks ago, my dad's neurologist prescribed Aricept for Dad's memory and confusion (it's mostly used for Alzheimer's but also works for Lewy Body Dementia).  The past two weeks, MY DAD, the man I love with all my heart, began to reappear after 18 months of slowly disappearing.  I can see him coming back just by the look on his face as well as his sense of humor. 

Dad cracked me up Saturday night when we got home from my nephew Adam's wedding.  I brought the mail into the house, sorted it, and handed his mail.  Dad got an advertisement from a hearing aid company and he told me to "Trash that," then he waited a couple of seconds then asked me, "Say what?!"  He and I busted out laughing and Mom came in to see what we were laughing so hard about.  He's such a hoot.

My nephew Adam got married on Saturday to a lovely young lady, Shalise.  I'm so happy for them and they're such a beautiful couple.  I'm so proud... my little buddy grew up to be such an incredible young man.  Shalise is sweet and I know she loves Adam very much and he's in good hands.  (click on photos to EMBIGGEN)

They didn't have a traditional reception (YAY - Utah receptions are grueling), instead they had a big dinner for family and close friends.  It was perfect and everyone had a great time.  Taking photos outside was freezing, especially for Shalise!  Here is a photo of Adam, Shalise, my brother J Dee, SIL Patti, all their children, grandchildren, and my parents. 

Besides the wedding, there was exciting news to celebrate.  My cousin Teria and her husband are expecting their second child in September, her little sister, Lindsay, is getting married in August, and my nephew Jason is getting married in September.  Jason is J Dee and Patti's last child at home... at last, they'll have a honeymoon period.  It's great to see them so much in love still.  Patti asked me to take a photo of her and J Dee in front of the Bountiful Temple yesterday and I was honored to.

I got to see and hold cute little Eli and while my hands were full of her, my sister, Susie grabbed my camera and took a photo of Eli and me.  Geez.  That's the last time I leave my camera within her reach!  LOL  I might be persuaded to post it for Wordless Wednesday this week  ;-). 

My friend and partner-in-crime, Linda, is moving to my building at work!  We're both so excited.  We worked in the same building for almost 10 years before my organization moved to our current building, which is across the base (Hill AFB).  We used to play jokes constantly... especially the remote-controlled fart machine.  Ah, those were the days...  and NO - we'll never grow up.  We bring the best out in each other, that's for sure! 

I went spending when I got my tax return and bought a DVD-Recorder/VCR combination and a new camera lens.  The DVD Recorder, I used for dubbing a VHS tape of my family in 1990 and 1991.  I cracked up at most of it but there definitely treasures on the tape.  My late grandma and late SIL, Lisa were in parts... it took me back to that time and it felt as if they're not gone but when the tape was over, it hit me again that they are gone.  BUT - the great things are their memories and the fact that their memories are brought to life again.  I am excited to share them with my family.  I chatted with my niece, Morgan, Saturday, who was only 5 years old when her mom died.  This will be a chance for Morgan to see her mom in action and to hear her voice; she has all sorts of photos but nothing like a video.  It made me feel really good to see the look on Morgan's face when I told her. 

The video that cracked me up royally was my nephew Adam when he was 5, singing a naughty/kids version of the "Popeye the Sailor Man" and the camp song, "Scab Salad,"  while hanging upside down, eyes covered, and a pair of eyes and a nose painted on his chin.  I need to splice it and post it one of these days...............  Adam actually remembers doing it and how much fun we had.  There are more videos to be found and put on DVDs... now to find them! 

The camera lens I bought is a Olympus Zuiko 50mm Macro Telephoto lens and it is ooooo so lovely.  Here are photos of a mini purple calla lily, black jelly beans, tiny water droplets on foil.  I SO love this new lens!!   Now, if the snow would melt off the lawn and flower gardens so the lovely spring flowers can grow.  (The calla lily is in my house)

     

I got through my first time of "teaching" The Leadership Challenge Workshop last week.  My co-teacher said I did well but need to work on my confidence level.  He's right and next time, I should do better.  This week is Interviewing Skills and the Mock Interview is my section and I always have so much fun with it.  I appreciate all your good thoughts my way - it's great having my own cheer leading squad. 

The last thing is a bit sad.  My sexy man hurt his leg (at work - injured it twice) and had surgery on Saturday to reattach the thigh muscle to the bone.  I told him that I was kidding about both of us needing wheelchairs...  Sheesh.  *snicker*  Let your mind go where it will... it made him laugh.  He should be back to work in ten days and will have to wear a brace for a few weeks.  Hmmm... that means behaving.... at work, I mean.   

 

The Kiss of Peace, a photo taken by Julia Margaret Cameron in 1869, has stood the test of time and human emotion did not change from generation to generation.  The photo represents not only peace but also unconditional love between a mother and child, which has not faded through the centuries. 
Self-Portrait

According to Robert Leggat, this particular portrait is of her sister, Maria (Mia) Jackson and is one of Mrs. Cameron’s most famous portraits.  The portrait of a mother and daughter is based on the biblical story of the Visitation; the daughter is looking down as the mother kisses her brow and looks on.   A mother kissing a child’s brow is both universal and eternal; a true masterpiece.

When I see The Kiss of Peace portrait, I feel raw human emotions, hope for a better future, and the greatest peace of all, the unbreakable bond of love.  The portrait is somber yet portrays eternal beauty and reminds me of how safe and loved I felt in my mother’s arms.  The Kiss of Peace stirs my emotions; it makes me hope we could hold on to that kind of love for all humankind, to make our world a better place.  The portrait brings forth a yearning for peace, reminding me that peace begins at home.  

When I look closely into the mother’s eyes, I see that she is afraid and concerned for their future but wants to protect her child from harm and assure her she will be protected.  As most mothers, she is willing to die for her child and Mrs. Cameron captures the protective quality exquisitely.

Mrs. Cameron’s photos convey spirituality, romanticism, and core human emotions; her style is timeless.  She managed to capture what many people were feeling at the time and we, in the current time, feel the emotions as well.  Most of her photos focus on women and allegorical lessons and are centered on the important women in her life.  She focused on the natural beauty of the women she photographed, showing their hair down, which was not often seen outside of the home.   

Mrs. Cameron used large glass plate negatives, often used for landscapes for her portraits.  Using this type of negatives, her subjects had to be still for several moments, which of course, was difficult.  This technique left the photos out of focus, giving the portraits a soft and dreamy feeling.

The subjects of Mrs. Cameron’s photos were her passion since she did not care for action photography.  Most of her well-known portraits were famous men, although as society has changed, the portraits of the women have increased in popularity.

Hundreds of thousands of our ancestors and forefathers had big dreams for the United States as well as from other Mother Lands.  The dreams were to improve their lives and childrens' lives, to be free and to enjoy what they fought hard to accomplish.  I am grateful for leaders who led countries for everyone's benefits, not their own, however if they led for their own dreams, they weren't really "leaders."  

I am reminded of history classes where I learned what others sacrificed for us to be able to live free.  However, history doesn't always bring to mind the realization of the passion that they felt and how hard they really worked.  When I see a photo such as this, it puts a face to every person who worked hard and should be recognized for their part in our world today.  It's not a perfect world but it is ours to change, just as it was their world to change.  (click on photo to EMBIGGEN)

 

Please help me decide which four photos I should enter into the 11th Black & White Competition 2008 at the Ogden's Eccles Community Art Center. Thank you!!

Rose of Utah

Distant Memories

Go the Distance

Summer Daisies

Moose at Big Springs in BW

Ben Lomond BW 1

Ben Lomond BW 2

Water in Action

From a Faucet

Out of the Rough

White on Black

Mommy & Eli

Rest for the Weary

It's been a funky week.  The work week seemed to be longer than a normal week with one day short due to the holiday.  Most of the week was waaaaay below freezing in the single and teen digits.  Brrr.  I could hardly wait for this weekend for it to warm up and give us snow.  today's storm was beautiful and dumped a lot of snow and we're supposed to keep getting snow all week with just a short break between storms.  I'm not complaining because we need the snow and compared to Idaho's snow removal services - Utah rocks.  ;-) 

Snowy days are the best when I can stay home and curl up with a blanket and watch the snow fall.   However, when I looked out the window across the street, I saw a genuine Utah Snow Angel...  and it ruined it for me.  *snortle*  Not really... this is something I got in my email.  What a hoot. 

The tree is one of the lovely sites I saw looking out my window and I had to get dressed (it was a PJ day) in my sweats to go out and take some photos. 

One thing about the snow is that it makes my sexy man, D, busier at work.  He's been in and out of state all week so I haven't been able to talk to him much.  I swear, my patience is getting tested - not with him but with the lack of talking, etc.  No translations on the "etc"... I'll just say, uh hum, gee whiz.

Some of you may have noticed my domain was down for a few days.  Hmmm.  Thanks to Ms. Vickie calling me and telling me that she got the GoDaddy screen from her Google Reader instead of my blog but she could get to my blog via her blogroll (which was the url http://passionsofmyheart.squarespace.com/ not the http://www.passionsofmyheart.com).  Hmmm.  Then it dawned on me that my domain expired so I checked online and sure enough, it expired on Dec 29.  Ooops.  I didn't get any renewal notices but after further investigation, I discovered I used my MSN email address not my gmail.  I confess that I do not check my MSN email but once a month when I get a nasty note saying I haven't checked my email in 30 days.  Ooops. The email is now my gmail email address. 

Then I went to pay the fee for renewal and I could not log into PayPal.  I use PayPal when available since it's safer than having things automatically renew with my debit/credit card.  I ended calling customer service to get my PayPal account straightened out because I was not getting the email to reset my password... which ended up being that I had a PayPal email address blocked but also had one in the safe mail.  Go figure that Hotmail works so well with the blocked emails.  So an hour later, I finally had the renewal paid.  

Can anything in my life be easy?  Apparently not these past funky few days.   

That's it for me for now - I need to get my behind in bed to get some sleep so I'm ready for my long workday and fun drive into work.  I hope you all had  a great weekend and here's hoping this week will be a lot better than last week.  Remember to smile, it makes others wonder what you're up to. 

I sit here with my heart full, perhaps fuller than it has ever been.  There was so many blessings this year along with hard times and losses.  I remember my 2007 New Year started with coming out of my bedroom that morning, on my way to my bathroom, and I was startled by my dad standing in my way.  There stood the man that I love with all my heart, who the so-called physicians at Ogden Regional Hospital said would never walk without assistance again after his 9-week hospitalization.  The physical therapists never gave up, we never gave up and most importantly, Dad never gave up.  As my eyes filled with tears, I hugged my dad to make sure it was not a dream.  He had walked down the 14 stairs to my basement to tell me that he finished his physical therapy; mastering the stairs was his last hurdle.  During last Christmas, my family kept calling Dad our Christmas miracle because along with the negative assumptions of his walking was also accompanied by the assumptions that Dad would never regain his mental faculties.  He showed them!  We're so thankful for his new doctors and for all the blessings we've had this year.  Although we still face a battle every day, he's worth it.  Laughter and love go hand-in-hand in our family and he is the root of it all. 

The first ten months of the year sped by and most everything is a blur due to me taking the toughest classes of the four years I went to school.  I sacrificed a lot over the past four years but I was determined to finish my bachelors... and I did in October.  I have my beautiful diploma but my family is waiting to celebrate it on June 14, when the graduation ceremony is scheduled. 

My nephew Tyler and his wife, Sara, brought a sweet baby boy, Caleb, into the world last summer.  Then my nephew Travis and his wife, Sara, brought sweet Eli into the world and despite having a rough start, Eli thrives.  My niece Keldi and her husband Matt are expecting their second boy this April.  Our family is growing and it's awesome to see the people I love thrive and grow.  My niece Elyssa started a special school program and her teachers agree that she is indeed, brilliant; she just cannot say all she wants to.  There is still no diagnosis but we're focusing on her growing and being happy. 

The loser, Elyssa's so-called-father (we call him the sperm donor) was released to a half-way-house in early December.  My sister called the facility where he was held and made it clear that he was not living with her.  Although she hasn't gotten a divorce yet, it's a big step for her to say "no" to him.  He tries calling her often but she ignores the calls.  Kathy suffers from bi-polar and she's had a rough time of it for the past few weeks due to a medication change but she's starting to come out of it.  I know in my heart that if she gets strong enough to divorce him, she can do anything.  The school, bus drivers, and aides have all been warned about him, in case he tries anything.  I'd actually like to have him try something... because he'd land himself back in prison. 

I am grateful for all of my family.  I drove my parents to Idaho Falls, Idaho, Friday for my Aunt Lou Jean's 80th birthday celebration.  The weather was snowy but we made it there safely and back home Saturday, despite Idaho's *cough, cough* so-called snow removal services.  The celebration was wonderful and she deserved such a lovely party.  Cousins, aunts, uncle, were there; local and those who traveled from California, Utah, and Washington.  There is so much love in my family and as I hugged those who I have not seen in years, there was no love loss.  I enjoyed catching up with them all and was honored to be part of the celebration for Lou Jean.  Not many 80 year-olds can still hula like she can. 

In other news, I met someone special at the end of October and I've hesitated in sharing it on my blog - mostly because I did not want to jinx it, however, he is part of the reason why my heart is so full.  His name is David and he's the "special friend" who lost his sister recently.  The outpour of love and support for him has not only helped him and his family but it's made me appreciate you all the more.  David is an incredible man and we have a lot of hopes for the coming year.  He has two children, a daughter (who lives with her mother) and a son (who lives with David) and he is an incredible father, which makes me adore him even more.  He's funny, sensitive, romantic (he blows my mind), caring, and strong.  He actually lives in Utah (only an hour away from me), which means I was wrong when I said, "There are not any straight, great, handsome, sexy, available men in Utah who are not dorks."   He is a little nutty because he loves my sense of humor and he indulges my *snicker* moments.  Our time together has been limited due to work conflicts and the tragedy of his sister's death, but we're patient because we know our relationship is worth waiting and fighting for. The man makes me swoon.......... even through a text message. I wonder where he's been all my life and he asked me the same; however, I know that we've both been on our own journey and the journeys finally met.  

My life is full of incredible friends - each one is special to me and I'm so blessed to have them in my life.  I wish the very best of health, happiness, and peace for each of my friends in this new year.  You all are my friends and I appreciate the love and support you've shown me over the years; you've kept me strong and I've never felt alone with you all by my side.

It's been a year full of discovering and igniting passions within myself and it feels great to feel free enough to explore the person I want to become. I am a work-in-progress and have the self-love to continue the work; my self-esteem has always been low but it's getting higher. I believe that I cannot truly love another without first loving myself. It's been a year now since I opened this place, where I share my thoughts and passions. Again, I thank you all for your friendship and for your part in my journey.

I have a request for a friend of mine, Suzanne.  Her mother passed away yesterday morning and I ask that you keep her and her family in your thoughts.