There are few real-life angels and it's rare when we have one in our lives.  I am so blessed to have many angels in my life and there is one, in particular, that I dedicate this photo to.  She's an incredible friend and I love her dearly.  You know who you are and that my prayers are with you as you walk through this life.  There may be some tears but there will be a lot of laughter for you know how we are when we get together - you are my angel! 

 

Now, onto another kind of angel, the type that kept an eye on my dad this week.  Mom and I took Dad to the hospital Monday night due to chest pains; chest pains worse than he's had before (a man who had two open heart surgeries and three bypasses, and countless angina episodes).  The ER doctor did not like what he saw and kept Dad overnight and that overnight turned into three nights.

Around 3am on Tuesday morning, Dad's heart went into A-Fib (out of rhythm) and he realized the feeling was the same feeling he had two days before his last mini-stroke.  When his heart goes into A-Fib, the blood pools in a chamber of the heart and then it forms blood clots, one of which, broke loose and caused the mini-stroke.   

Dad's cardiologist saw him on Tuesday and ran a lot of tests then decided to do an angiogram Wednesday morning since he continued to have chest pains despite the blood thinner and nitroglycerin IV drips.  Not a good sign. The angiogram didn't show anything significant that would cause the severe chest pains so the docs were perplexed.   

The chest pains began to lessen and his condition stabilized and planned on releasing him Thursday afternoon, but before he left, they did a cardiopulmonary test.  We don't know the results yet but should hear something Monday.  His doc wants him to have an MRI of his chest and more blood tests.  

It's a great feeling to know that Dad's docs take good care of him and are digging deeper to find out what's going on with his heart.

Dad is happy to be home and Mom and I are keeping our eyes on him since he's unsteady on his feet and is on two new medications.  My siblings were great this week, pitching in to help and be there for Dad.  We're truly blessed to have angels as parents.   

 

This is a poem that I wrote for Kayla a while back and I've modified it.  She passed away on Saturday, May 2, 2008 after years of courageous battle with cancer. 

Few souls were as strong
And wise as you were.
You were and always will be an inspiration,
To both the young and old,
The way you fought the demons.
With your grace and faith.
By taking the negative
And only seeing the positive,
Embracing life and love,
Refusing to give up, even at the end.
The light within you will never fade,
For your spirit is far too strong.
Keep your eyes toward the light,
Refusing to see the dark.
May your family and friends be blessed,
With peace, love, and your sweet spirit,

Never to part.

Rest in peace, Sweet Kayla, you will always be in my heart and memories.

With Love,

Karen 

 

You can visit here and leave comments for her Aunt Susan and for Kayla's family.  You may also click here to light a candle for Kayla.   

It takes little to make a baby smile and that trait is something that we should carry with us as adults.  I find myself smiling constantly when I'm with all the babies, toddlers, and my nieces and nephews. 

While babysitting my grandniece, Eli last Friday at my house, she had eyes for my dad and it brought big smiles to his face and a tear or two in his eyes.  I snapped this photo when dad came downstairs to see what Eli and I were up to and this is the reaction he got.

 She's got so much love in her little body, it amazes me.  I took Eli with me to meet my friends for a late lunch and they loved her (again) and we had a lot of fun.  She didn't fuss at all and just took in all the new faces and sounds around her.  My friends got a laugh over the vibrating corncob toy (see last Monday's post "Gee Whiz... It Vibrates!", if you missed it!) ... you know I had to show them.  Me thinks I need to buy one for each of us now!  *snicker*

My grandnephew, Caleb is a cutie too.  He's the son of my nephew Tyler and his wife Sara (we have two Saras in our family).  Here is a video they made (it is set to music) of his first car.  He's 9 months old and weighs 24 lbs so he's a big guy and it's all muscle.

It's a great feeling seeing my nephews and nieces raising their own children. I'm so proud of all of them. Who in your life makes you smile?

I wasn't able to attend the Wasatch Camera Club meeting tonight due to me feeling like poo.  My blood sugar dropped to 32 just before lunch today and despite me eating lunch AND a donut, it only got up to 80.  I felt rotten so I went home early to rest and do some work from home.  On the way home, I stopped and got a burrito, thinking the protein would help, which it did - a little.  My blood sugar went up a whole 10 points.  I am reactive hypoglycaemic and I've done well with controlling it by eating small meals five times a day but I don't know what happened yesterday but it hit me hard. 

After spending the evening feeling sorry for myself (LOL), I got a call from my friend, Darlene, who told me that she was bringing home a ribbon for me!  My photo of Eli, named "Sleeping Beauty" won 3rd place!  W00T!!  I'm so happy and excited - and of course, honored!  Darlene is bringing my ribbon to the pool this morning and I'm excited to show it off!  Darlene deserves part of the ribbon for helping me and encouraging me!  Thank you, Darlene!  You ROCK!  

I want to congratulate Darlene on placing 2nd with her photo!  WOOHOO!  We're both winners!   

Here is the photo of the Sleeping Beauty, Eli.  

 

Eli's mommy, Sara, sent me a photo of Eli eating her first veggie, sweet potatoes and to announce her first tooth finally broke through.  How cute is she?! 

I just love this little bug to pieces and it makes me feel good to have an active role in her life.  I love her daddy, Travis, as I would a son and her mommy like a daughter.  They love me for who I am and support me in whatever I do. 

Travis does me proud when plays practical jokes.  Speaking of jokes, I haven't heard how the letter did yet but I imagine Kent will get the letter today *evil grin*

What a slacker I've been in not writing my Gee Whiz posts!  Gee whiz, what's wrong with me?  LOL

1.  It's been an interesting week for the news in Utah.  This first story is about some pranksters who went into a 7-11 with a bag of feces and put it in the microwave, set it for 10 minutes, and walked out.  Needless to say, the shit hit the fan - or should I say, it exploded!  It not only ruined the microwave but it caused $3500 in damage.  The police ask help in finding the pranksters... good luck to them!  We had a lot of laughs about it at work yesterday when we heard about it.  Not even I would go that far but it's funny!  Gee whiz, what a shitty thing to do! 

2.  An ESPN Analyst, Ric Bucher called out the Utah Jazz fans.  He said that Utahans are Mormon and there's nothing to do here and they have to be happy and smiling all the time so the only time they can be vicious is at a Utah Jazz game.  He also said that there is more off-color language than anywhere else.  Click on his name in blue on the link and you can listen to the mp3 file.  Gee whiz, what an ass.

3.  The inner prankster inside me escaped this morning.  A coworker and buddy, Kent, had both his knees replaced last week.  He's doing great and we all miss him because he's a fun guy and likes to joke around.  

We call Kent every day to see how he's doing and to see what he's up to.  He told a couple of guys about an experience he had in the hospital last week.  A woman nurse named Arianna gave Kent a sponge bath and it turns out that Arianna was once a man.  Nothing against her but Kent had everyone cracking up at his reaction (no - not that type of reaction LOL) to her and how embarrassed he was.  A little light went off in my mind this morning as one of the guys was retelling the story. 

I wrote a letter, posing as Arianna, to offer Kent her special sponge bathing services.   The letter looked professional wiht a logo and address.  The address is bogus but the phone number is another coworker's number *snortle*  Below is the letter.

************ 

Arianna’s Magic Fingers
1269 Rubadubdub Cir
Roy, UT 84067
801-XXX-XXXX

Dear Mr. B*,

Greetings!  How are you, my friend?  I hope you remember me; I was your nurse last week at LDS Hospital.  I am known state-wide for my special sponge baths that you enjoyed during your hospital stay. 

Besides working at the hospital, I am available for house calls for a variety of services:

•    Specialty Sponge Baths, includes pure Rocky Mountain spring water, authentic sponge, and gentle aromatic cleansing gel
•    All-over-body massages (I am a licensed masseuse)
•    A variety of personal services, as requested (charges may vary) for your enjoyment
•    High tech methodology and the latest devices for your every desire
•    Portable playground equipment provided for an additional charge and is available for month-to-month rental
•    No job is too big or too small, I love them all!

Health care premiums may cover the majority of the costs of services rendered and my assistant bills insurances at no additional charge.  I look forward to serving you!

Sincerely,

Arianna

************ 

The "playground equipment" is what Kent calls "bedroom furniture."  He will know it's from one of us - or all of us - and that's OK.  We were all laughing and imagining Kent's reaction.  I bought a stamp from the office and mailed it in a plain envelope yesterday.  One of the guys is taking Kent lunch today and we hope the letter will get there so he can see the look on his face.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall...with a video camera to capture his reaction!   

Gee whiz... sometimes I really crack myself up. 

Back in June 2001, I began blogging and soon after, a sweet and brilliant lady, Clara Barker from the Isle of Man in the UK began blogging too. I found her blog via one of the first bloggers who linked to me (Ariel) and she went on about how brilliant Clara was and she was right.

Clara writes songs, plays the guitar, and sings. A few years ago, she honored me with a copy of her first demo CD and I loved it from first time I heard the songs. They were two of the first songs that I put on my iPod. Clara - you rock - totally!

Clara emailed me today to announce she is now on YouTube! RAH for Clara! She has written many songs and each one is great and I'm so proud of her. Here are the two videos on YouTube.





She also has a MySpace Music blog where more songs are posted. Her main site is clarabaker.com where she has her earlier works and info. Clara - you are such a star and I'm so proud of you!! Lots of love!

Much to my surprise, an excellent fellow blogger, John gave me the Excellent Blogger Award. Thank you again, John! This means so much to me and helped bring me out of a lost feeling of late.

I caught a nasty stomach flu from my grandniece and was down for a week or so. Catching this on the heels of the bronchitis/walking pneumonia junk left me feeling completely drained and rotten. My body doesn't bounce back as I think it should, which is frustrating and has me wondering if more is going on with my immune system. I see my doc on April 21 and we'll see what he thinks. OK - enough about me! This post is about excellent bloggers!

I will start by stating that this list is short of many excellent bloggers because, to me, you all are excellent bloggers!

Darlene is a friend of mine and fellow photographer, who I met at the physical therapy pool. She's fun, smart, and a caring lady and I feel blessed to have her in my life. She invited me to the Wasatch Photo Club and teaches me a lot about photography and life. Along with Darlene, I met her mother, Elaine, and friends Joyce, Arlene, and Mable who are all so much fun. On Fridays, when I'm not tending Eli (or can get my behind out of bed) I look forward to seeing these ladies in the pool. Darlene's fun personality and love for family and extended family shines through her words on her blog. She is an avid walker/runner and she finds money every time she goes out (rain or shine) then keeps track of it in her posts.

Next is my friend, Hula Doula, whom I love dearly! She's so fun and she puts up with me when I go to Denver. She also has the BEST throne in the world, complete with air conditioning! She and her Hula Hubby had the opportunity to completely re-do their bathroom, which would mean dismantling the throne and air system but they decided not to mess with a good thing. I tend to believe she did it for me but I also know it's her secret hiding place when she needs to get away from her kids LOL Hula and I have a lot of laughs when we're together and we share a lot of like experiences, which made us bond. She writes of adventures with her kids, Hula Girl and Hula Boy and they're the most wonderful children, filled with love and life. Believe me - Hula Boy is every bit as effervescent in life as he appears through Hula's writing. Hula Girl is as wonderful too and more; she's growing up to be quite a young lady. If you haven't read Hula's blog, you're missing out!

Hula led me to the next Excellent Blog, the Lost Fart of Blogging. This blog is so funny and fits with my twisted sense of humor. Bob is hilarious and so is his wife, Joyce, who comments a lot on his posts. The stories he shares of his adventures and past experiences crack me up... now I just need to visit more and leave comments; I've become lazy in my blog reading and rely on the SharpReader.

Dave is another friend of mine who has a great blog. He had to go "private" for a while due to coworkers and his boss reading his blog but he's back in the public sector now so I can give him this award and for you all to be able to access his blog. Dave is a very caring man who has a great passion for those in his life. He loves Corvettes, fine wine, sports, his family, and traveling. He has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh. You'll always find a wide variety of things on his blog because he not only writes about what's going on in his life but also finds great links to the strange news.

Trée is a fantastic writer and artist; he has a great imagination and has the makings to be a sci-fi writer.  His story of characters in another world is interesting, captivating, and full of passion.  His imagery and fractals are breath-taking and beautiful.  I've been following the story for years and it gets better all the time. 

Margaret is an incredible lady who is a teacher in Washington state.  She is passionate and supportive of her family and her two daughters' dreams.  She has a great sense of humor and she's one of the few people who get me.  She and I share the same types of anxieties and understand one another when we're stressed out.  Margaret has been there for me many times and I'm blessed to call her a friend and have her in my life.   

I encourage you to write about the excellent blogs you love and share what you find excellent about the writers behind the blogs.  Spread the sunshine and the world will be a better place. 

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it... "   --Unknown

I received the above from a text message and found it profound.  Friends and those we care about are irreplaceable and precious treasures.

This reminded me of how it is in the workplace, which according to managers and coworkers, that one can always be replaced.  A position can be filled with another, however, the one that filled the position cannot be replaced.  

Recently, a friend (A) who I worked with found another job within the company and relocated to New York.  It was a fantastic opportunity for her and her family and I am happy for them.   

A has a way of making anyone feel at home (in our home away from home) and appreciated. Her sense of humor is a lot like mine (that is a compliment!) and she always supported me in my outside-of-work interests.  She is one of the few people at work who I know I can trust and know our conversations went no further.  There's definitely only one A... and she is missed.

You raaawk, A!   

Spring fills my soul with renewed passions ... I love spring!  These are photos of the tiny new flowers blooming in my garden. 

 

 

 

The promise of new beginnings ... the first tulip bloom of the year. 

© KJR Photos may not be used without my express written consent.  Thank you :-) 

Once again the season changes to spring, leaving the cold of winter behind as new life rises and breathes for the first time.  The tiny buds come from beneath the snow and reach for the sunshine. 

Last week, as I battled a second round of the cold/bronchitis, which returned with a vengeance Monday night, I found myself restless.  I thought a lot about things in my life that weren't working - or feeling right.  Foremost, I felt a void in what I hoped would last longer, perhaps the rest of my life.  The seasons change, once again and I found myself reaching for sunshine and wanting to put the cold behind me.  The winter was not all bad, I enjoyed the beatiful snow as it fell from the sky and how it sparkled in the sunlight. Perhaps who warmed my heart during the winter will return again in the summer or fall but for now, he needs to grow on his own.

This past winter, I almost fell in love with David, yet the past few weeks, it became apparent that something was wrong.  In the beginning, we spoke for hours about what we want out of a relationship and life.  I felt as if I'd found the man I always wanted.  An epiphany hit and I realized that what he said he wanted and what he was living were two different things. 

He wanted romance - both to give it and receive it but he didn't.  He wanted to give his heart - but it was not ready to give (which is what I sensed was wrong).  I was as more patient than I've ever been but my patience ran out when I realized that he was not ready for a relationship.  I'm setting him free and in doing so, I'm setting myself free.   

I know he came into my life for a reason and one day, that answer will be discovered.  My heart is not broken and I feel blessed that he was in my life.  I wish him well on his journey, but for now I'll flutter along on my own journey.  I'll continue to break through the soil of life... and reach for the sunlight.  This is a positive change and I feel good about it.

In the famous words of Ms. Vickie... Life is good.  Now if I can only set the bronchitis free, I'll be good.  ;-) 

Happy Easter! 

Top O' the Mornin' to ye!  The one day of the year that it's OK to be green and show some of my Irish blood. I'm a melting pot of English, Irish, Scottish, German, and Danish blood. 

I am teaching a workshop this mornin' (and Wednesday) and it's an interesting group.  I'm going to bribe them with chocolate to keep them focused on the workshop instead of green beer... well, it's worth a try anyway.

Chocolate is appropriate since we begin with a short film about Milton S. Hershey's life and the history of his company.  He was an amazing man and never let his dreams of success die.  

I've been waiting for the appropriate time to share my experience, the first day of teaching The Leadership Challenge... which is where the a day of red comes in to play.

I was teaching the Inspire a Shared Vision portion of the workshop and the subsection of breathing life into a vision.  The students are required to share their inspired vision speeches on the second day of the workshop and I was conveying the fact that they needed to use picture-type words. 

Picture it - the class is filled with 23 men and one woman (the brave soul that she is!). 

I used the example of Paris and asked what came to mind.  I had several responses; Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, romance, city of love, wine, the River Seine, and so on.  Then I asked how many students have actually been to Paris and four men raised their hands.  Then I asked how the others knew what was in Paris, from their answers.  They responded, pictures, history, stories, movies, etc.  

Then, I asked the class, "When I say 'Tuva,' what do you think of?"  Most responded, "Never heard of it."  Then one very outspoken man said, "Isn't it a part of the female anatomy."  I face, neck, and chest turned HOT in an instant and I know my face was the color of a beet.  I cleared my throat, bit my lip to stifle a giggle and said, "No, I'm afraid not... it's a place in southern Russia/Siberia, near the border of Mongolia and they're known for a unique form of throat singing." 

Needless to say, I quickly finished the section and called for a 10-minute break.  My co-instructor said that I recovered well and that his face even turned red.   

Interestingly enough, on a workshop evaluation/critique, someone answered, "more info on Tuva," to the question, "What would have made this workshop better."  Gee whiz, I can guess who that was!

Here is a website if you're interested in Tuva.  Here is a website of a group that travels the world.  Interesting...

 

Much happened to me and to those I love recently; some was rough, however, most made me smile.  I'm grateful for the good things and for everyone in my life.

My dear friend, Emma, finished a huge project that she began in December; she wrote a bookazine for children on gardening.  I am immensely proud of her and praise her for all her good and hard work. Congratulations, Emma!  You deserve a huge celebration because you worked so hard and you are an amazing lady. 

A few weeks ago, my dad's neurologist prescribed Aricept for Dad's memory and confusion (it's mostly used for Alzheimer's but also works for Lewy Body Dementia).  The past two weeks, MY DAD, the man I love with all my heart, began to reappear after 18 months of slowly disappearing.  I can see him coming back just by the look on his face as well as his sense of humor. 

Dad cracked me up Saturday night when we got home from my nephew Adam's wedding.  I brought the mail into the house, sorted it, and handed his mail.  Dad got an advertisement from a hearing aid company and he told me to "Trash that," then he waited a couple of seconds then asked me, "Say what?!"  He and I busted out laughing and Mom came in to see what we were laughing so hard about.  He's such a hoot.

My nephew Adam got married on Saturday to a lovely young lady, Shalise.  I'm so happy for them and they're such a beautiful couple.  I'm so proud... my little buddy grew up to be such an incredible young man.  Shalise is sweet and I know she loves Adam very much and he's in good hands.  (click on photos to EMBIGGEN)

They didn't have a traditional reception (YAY - Utah receptions are grueling), instead they had a big dinner for family and close friends.  It was perfect and everyone had a great time.  Taking photos outside was freezing, especially for Shalise!  Here is a photo of Adam, Shalise, my brother J Dee, SIL Patti, all their children, grandchildren, and my parents. 

Besides the wedding, there was exciting news to celebrate.  My cousin Teria and her husband are expecting their second child in September, her little sister, Lindsay, is getting married in August, and my nephew Jason is getting married in September.  Jason is J Dee and Patti's last child at home... at last, they'll have a honeymoon period.  It's great to see them so much in love still.  Patti asked me to take a photo of her and J Dee in front of the Bountiful Temple yesterday and I was honored to.

I got to see and hold cute little Eli and while my hands were full of her, my sister, Susie grabbed my camera and took a photo of Eli and me.  Geez.  That's the last time I leave my camera within her reach!  LOL  I might be persuaded to post it for Wordless Wednesday this week  ;-). 

My friend and partner-in-crime, Linda, is moving to my building at work!  We're both so excited.  We worked in the same building for almost 10 years before my organization moved to our current building, which is across the base (Hill AFB).  We used to play jokes constantly... especially the remote-controlled fart machine.  Ah, those were the days...  and NO - we'll never grow up.  We bring the best out in each other, that's for sure! 

I went spending when I got my tax return and bought a DVD-Recorder/VCR combination and a new camera lens.  The DVD Recorder, I used for dubbing a VHS tape of my family in 1990 and 1991.  I cracked up at most of it but there definitely treasures on the tape.  My late grandma and late SIL, Lisa were in parts... it took me back to that time and it felt as if they're not gone but when the tape was over, it hit me again that they are gone.  BUT - the great things are their memories and the fact that their memories are brought to life again.  I am excited to share them with my family.  I chatted with my niece, Morgan, Saturday, who was only 5 years old when her mom died.  This will be a chance for Morgan to see her mom in action and to hear her voice; she has all sorts of photos but nothing like a video.  It made me feel really good to see the look on Morgan's face when I told her. 

The video that cracked me up royally was my nephew Adam when he was 5, singing a naughty/kids version of the "Popeye the Sailor Man" and the camp song, "Scab Salad,"  while hanging upside down, eyes covered, and a pair of eyes and a nose painted on his chin.  I need to splice it and post it one of these days...............  Adam actually remembers doing it and how much fun we had.  There are more videos to be found and put on DVDs... now to find them! 

The camera lens I bought is a Olympus Zuiko 50mm Macro Telephoto lens and it is ooooo so lovely.  Here are photos of a mini purple calla lily, black jelly beans, tiny water droplets on foil.  I SO love this new lens!!   Now, if the snow would melt off the lawn and flower gardens so the lovely spring flowers can grow.  (The calla lily is in my house)

     

I got through my first time of "teaching" The Leadership Challenge Workshop last week.  My co-teacher said I did well but need to work on my confidence level.  He's right and next time, I should do better.  This week is Interviewing Skills and the Mock Interview is my section and I always have so much fun with it.  I appreciate all your good thoughts my way - it's great having my own cheer leading squad. 

The last thing is a bit sad.  My sexy man hurt his leg (at work - injured it twice) and had surgery on Saturday to reattach the thigh muscle to the bone.  I told him that I was kidding about both of us needing wheelchairs...  Sheesh.  *snicker*  Let your mind go where it will... it made him laugh.  He should be back to work in ten days and will have to wear a brace for a few weeks.  Hmmm... that means behaving.... at work, I mean.   

Warning: This video is not child nor work safe... no porno just hard laughs. *snicker*



P.S. Thanks, Dawn! and Phhhht to Photobucket! ;-)

I wish there was a button to push that will slow life down a bit - the last two weeks have sped by so quickly that I feel that I've missed a lot along the way. 

I don't usually rant about events that happen in my area, however, an event that took place Tuesday deserves some rantage.  There were two high school basketball teams that played at the local Dee Event Center Tuesday and on the way home, some students from Salt Lake were driving home.  A young man (I use that term lightly) saw his girl friend, 17-year-old Alyssa Lopez, in her ex-boyfriend's car (car B), which had three other classmates in the car.

He proceeded to speed up to car B in his car (car A),  and clipped the back of car B, which caused it to spin into oncoming traffic.  The speed limit around this area is 50mph and most everyone goes 55 - 60.  Car B was t-boned on the passenger side and it killed Alyssa and injured four others. Everyone involved - whether they were in car A, B, the oncoming traffic, or those behind the cars, their lives are forever changed all because this kid lost his cool. 

Now, the fact that (most) boys will be boys, they are reckless, and don't control their emotions, but this is ridiculous.  A girl is dead because her boy friend was jealous and over reacted.  There were classmates in his car as well - all innocents.

When I read that charges have not been charged against him (yet), it made me ill.  See the story HERE.  I could go on but there's no use speculating what will happen but I hope justice is served and served well.

Onto other things..........

March is going to be a crazy month for me at work; I am teaching four workshops!  I'll be studying one workshop, which I'll teach three times, all weekend.  I'm nervous but at the same time, I'm excited about the opportunity.  I'm trying to keep the inner stress monkey in check and hopefully I'll be successful.  

I woke up Tuesday night coughing again - lovely.  I've caught yet another cold or the cough I thought I victoriously got rid of decided to say hello again and bring its friends the head and sinus congestion along.  Thanks for that; just what I needed but I'll do my best to beat it again.  Cough syrup, anyone?  

Thank you, Nate and Dawn for calling me to let me know my site was down - I had no idea!  Also, thank you to those who emailed me. 

Turns out there was an issue with my debit card expiring and *cough, cough* I neglected to update it on my billing info for my SquareSpace account.  Gee whiz, definitely a *duh* on my part. I was in bed most the weekend with a cough/cold, so I wasn't online all that much and wasn't very good at checking all my email.   I thought the warning went to my junk mail and missed it, but upon further investigation, I found it hidden between two other messages I was waiting to answer.

I'm feeling mucho better today that I went to work and felt so good that I went out with my sexy man *grin*  Gee whiz... what a guy.