This is a poem that I wrote for Kayla a while back and I've modified it.  She passed away on Saturday, May 2, 2008 after years of courageous battle with cancer. 

Few souls were as strong
And wise as you were.
You were and always will be an inspiration,
To both the young and old,
The way you fought the demons.
With your grace and faith.
By taking the negative
And only seeing the positive,
Embracing life and love,
Refusing to give up, even at the end.
The light within you will never fade,
For your spirit is far too strong.
Keep your eyes toward the light,
Refusing to see the dark.
May your family and friends be blessed,
With peace, love, and your sweet spirit,

Never to part.

Rest in peace, Sweet Kayla, you will always be in my heart and memories.

With Love,

Karen 

 

You can visit here and leave comments for her Aunt Susan and for Kayla's family.  You may also click here to light a candle for Kayla.   

Back in June 2001, I began blogging and soon after, a sweet and brilliant lady, Clara Barker from the Isle of Man in the UK began blogging too. I found her blog via one of the first bloggers who linked to me (Ariel) and she went on about how brilliant Clara was and she was right.

Clara writes songs, plays the guitar, and sings. A few years ago, she honored me with a copy of her first demo CD and I loved it from first time I heard the songs. They were two of the first songs that I put on my iPod. Clara - you rock - totally!

Clara emailed me today to announce she is now on YouTube! RAH for Clara! She has written many songs and each one is great and I'm so proud of her. Here are the two videos on YouTube.





She also has a MySpace Music blog where more songs are posted. Her main site is clarabaker.com where she has her earlier works and info. Clara - you are such a star and I'm so proud of you!! Lots of love!

Much to my surprise, an excellent fellow blogger, John gave me the Excellent Blogger Award. Thank you again, John! This means so much to me and helped bring me out of a lost feeling of late.

I caught a nasty stomach flu from my grandniece and was down for a week or so. Catching this on the heels of the bronchitis/walking pneumonia junk left me feeling completely drained and rotten. My body doesn't bounce back as I think it should, which is frustrating and has me wondering if more is going on with my immune system. I see my doc on April 21 and we'll see what he thinks. OK - enough about me! This post is about excellent bloggers!

I will start by stating that this list is short of many excellent bloggers because, to me, you all are excellent bloggers!

Darlene is a friend of mine and fellow photographer, who I met at the physical therapy pool. She's fun, smart, and a caring lady and I feel blessed to have her in my life. She invited me to the Wasatch Photo Club and teaches me a lot about photography and life. Along with Darlene, I met her mother, Elaine, and friends Joyce, Arlene, and Mable who are all so much fun. On Fridays, when I'm not tending Eli (or can get my behind out of bed) I look forward to seeing these ladies in the pool. Darlene's fun personality and love for family and extended family shines through her words on her blog. She is an avid walker/runner and she finds money every time she goes out (rain or shine) then keeps track of it in her posts.

Next is my friend, Hula Doula, whom I love dearly! She's so fun and she puts up with me when I go to Denver. She also has the BEST throne in the world, complete with air conditioning! She and her Hula Hubby had the opportunity to completely re-do their bathroom, which would mean dismantling the throne and air system but they decided not to mess with a good thing. I tend to believe she did it for me but I also know it's her secret hiding place when she needs to get away from her kids LOL Hula and I have a lot of laughs when we're together and we share a lot of like experiences, which made us bond. She writes of adventures with her kids, Hula Girl and Hula Boy and they're the most wonderful children, filled with love and life. Believe me - Hula Boy is every bit as effervescent in life as he appears through Hula's writing. Hula Girl is as wonderful too and more; she's growing up to be quite a young lady. If you haven't read Hula's blog, you're missing out!

Hula led me to the next Excellent Blog, the Lost Fart of Blogging. This blog is so funny and fits with my twisted sense of humor. Bob is hilarious and so is his wife, Joyce, who comments a lot on his posts. The stories he shares of his adventures and past experiences crack me up... now I just need to visit more and leave comments; I've become lazy in my blog reading and rely on the SharpReader.

Dave is another friend of mine who has a great blog. He had to go "private" for a while due to coworkers and his boss reading his blog but he's back in the public sector now so I can give him this award and for you all to be able to access his blog. Dave is a very caring man who has a great passion for those in his life. He loves Corvettes, fine wine, sports, his family, and traveling. He has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh. You'll always find a wide variety of things on his blog because he not only writes about what's going on in his life but also finds great links to the strange news.

Trée is a fantastic writer and artist; he has a great imagination and has the makings to be a sci-fi writer.  His story of characters in another world is interesting, captivating, and full of passion.  His imagery and fractals are breath-taking and beautiful.  I've been following the story for years and it gets better all the time. 

Margaret is an incredible lady who is a teacher in Washington state.  She is passionate and supportive of her family and her two daughters' dreams.  She has a great sense of humor and she's one of the few people who get me.  She and I share the same types of anxieties and understand one another when we're stressed out.  Margaret has been there for me many times and I'm blessed to call her a friend and have her in my life.   

I encourage you to write about the excellent blogs you love and share what you find excellent about the writers behind the blogs.  Spread the sunshine and the world will be a better place. 

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it... "   --Unknown

I received the above from a text message and found it profound.  Friends and those we care about are irreplaceable and precious treasures.

This reminded me of how it is in the workplace, which according to managers and coworkers, that one can always be replaced.  A position can be filled with another, however, the one that filled the position cannot be replaced.  

Recently, a friend (A) who I worked with found another job within the company and relocated to New York.  It was a fantastic opportunity for her and her family and I am happy for them.   

A has a way of making anyone feel at home (in our home away from home) and appreciated. Her sense of humor is a lot like mine (that is a compliment!) and she always supported me in my outside-of-work interests.  She is one of the few people at work who I know I can trust and know our conversations went no further.  There's definitely only one A... and she is missed.

You raaawk, A!   

Many of you may remember Susan's niece, Kayla, the courageous and amazing 17-year old girl, who has battled cancer for over two years.  She's battling it again and this time, there's no treatment available unless she qualifies for an experimental treatment. 

Kayla is an inspiration and has a piece of my heart for all she's been through.  She's an example of what positive thinking can do in how she battled the cancer previously.  She's full of love and has a wonderful personality.

Kayla has a family full of love and their hearts are breaking as they're dealing with this new outbreak of cancer.  Please keep them in your thoughts.

If anyone is interested, there is a group making cranes (senbazuru) to send to Kayla, please visit the Yahoo group page.  The project is about a prayer of a 1000 cranes, which is something that was done for Ellen (scroll down to the June 28, 2007 post), God rest her soul.  

Kayla and her family need our help in lifting their spirits and letting know that we care. 

Yesterday I received the news that a good friend of mine died; she and I knew one another since 7th grade, when my life became fuller because of her.  Suzanne Orton, 40, died last Tuesday, February 12, 2008,  peacefully at her home, according to the obituary.  When "at home" is mentioned in obituaries, most the time it means by the person's own hand, however, I refuse to believe she did anything to cause her death.  I feel it in my heart and soul. 

In our early 20's, Suzy was plagued with trauma from her childhood, such trauma that she developed multiple personality disorder.  Within five years, she took control of the MPD and no longer needed medication.  She had a strong faith in God and she forgave her abuser, which gave her the power to overcome it all.  I kept in touch with Suzy, usually via Christmas cards and the occasional phone call and/or email.  I am proud to call her friend and she helped me through one of the toughest times in my life, for which I will be forever grateful. 

I carry all the memories and laughter in my heart; she had such a way about her, she could always make me laugh.   

 

Suzy was a friend like no other,
She was kind, cheerful, and true to another.

Suzy had a true inner strength,
A strength she shared at length.

She was full of life and laughter,
Her antics had me laughing for hours after.

Suzy’s heart was filled with empathy and compassion,
It was no secret that those she loved were her passion.

She listened with her heart and soul,
And in her company, I was never alone.

She was there when I needed a friend,
And soon, she had me laughing, again and again.

Not matter what she went through in her younger years,
She fought hard to overcome her pain and fears.

Suzy had an incredible spirit, which glowed from within,
That spirit still shines today, for it will never end.

Suzy will be remembered for her Christ-like ways,
A true inspiration to me, then, now, and always.

I will carry her memory within my heart,
Now that she is safe, loved, and at peace in His loving arms. 

Rest in peace, my friend; I love you with all my heart,
Karen
 

Friday morning I was so excited to tend my grandniece, Eli. I arrived early because traffic was nice for a change and it gave me a chance to visit with Travis and Sara before they had to leave for work. Eli and I got along fine, which I had no doubt about. I'm not one to change poopy diapers - never have - and I almost always throw up LOL However, a baby who is nursed is manageable, which is good because she had THREE poopy diapers. I did not even gag - GO Auntie Karen. There was a casualty of the cutest Eeyore outfit due to one of the diaper issues, but everything else was fine. She smiled a lot and squealed a lot too, which is a new thing. She didn't nap much, only 30 minutes then 45 minutes. I took my small camera with me that takes videos as well and here is one of the cutest while she was in her swing.



The bridal open house for my niece-to-be, Shalise, went well and we had a nice time visiting with family and friends. She is such a sweet lady and I know she and Adam will be so happy. We laughed about the fact that although Adam is living in their new house and has virtually nothing, he cannot use all the gifts until they're married and Shalise moves in. *evil grin*

I also had reports to complete for work on Friday and I managed to get them all done; I did three while watching Eli and then finished them after the open house... I was up until 2am but that was fine because I knew I could sleep in since D had such a late night.

My weekend didn't turn out as I expected it to. My sexy man worked 23.5 hours Friday, starting at 5am and not getting home until 3:30am Saturday. He called me at 11pm Friday night, on his way home, to tell me about his day and it was a rough one and he was really hurting. He thought he might be able to move by Saturday afternoon but he was in bed still when I called to check on him about 3pm. Poor guy. So, we planned for today, however, I had to cancel because something that was bothersome since Friday was a lot worse so I ended up going to the ER. I thought it was a blood clot due to discoloration of my calf, numbness on top of my foot, and a lot of pain that was different than RA pain. After spending about five hours there and having an ultrasound and blood tests, the news was no blood clot (whew) but cellulites, which is a skin infection. This is the third I've had since my fall back in Sept. The doc put me on more antibiotics and gave me some stronger pain pills and sent me home. I have to stay off of it as much as possible but I should be OK to go to work - I just have to keep it elevated while I'm sitting. David was relieved it wasn't a blood clot but when I told him how serious the infection is, he's worried about me. I will call my doc tomorrow and make an appt for Tuesday to make sure it's not spreading - if it is, it may mean hospitalization and/or IV antibiotics.

So... that was my weekend! How was yours?

I want to thank Merle, who gave me the Cheer Me Up Award.  I'm honored to receive this award from Merle because she always cheers me up.  I'd like to pass this award on to many special people in my life who always cheer me up.  I certainly don't want to leave anyone out so I will name a few who are always there for me when I need to be cheered up.  Vickie, Dawn, Hula, Raggedy, Margaret, Vickie B., Suzanne, Theresa, Annie, Emma, Sally, my cuz Hoss, Dave C., Michael (Big Orange), Dr. Mike, Rayne, Andrea, Pam B, Pam (Siamese), Princess Roo, Susan, Dyane, Skunk, Kirsi, and many more.  Please forgive me not linking to everyone - Blogrolling is down as I write this. 

It's so great that the weekend has arrived; it's been a long and busy week but it had its highlights.  I attended a workshop at work, "Crucial Confrontations" and I learned a lot and will use it in the future.  I was home sick on Wednesday with a tummy virus and luckily it only lasted a day.  

My nephew Travis called me this evening and asked what I am doing tomorrow (Friday).  I'm working from home but it's just light computer work so he asked if I could drive down to Salt Lake and watch little Eli for the day.  That's a big YES!!  I'm so excited to hold her and take lots of photos.  I also get to spend time with the kitty, Bella.  I'm hoping the big dogs are in their kennels; they're good dogs but they're a handful.  One is a Boxer and the other is a mix, like a small German Shepard. They also asked me to babysit on Valentine's Day and I think I should be able to since my sexy man will probably have to work. 

Tomorrow night is my niece-to-be, Shalise's, bridal open house (she's marrying my nephew Adam in March).  So, gee whiz, I'll be on the run all day and into the evening - as well as working on my reports for work. 

Saturday I will see my sexy man... and perhaps even Sunday, depending on his son's plans.  Gee whiz, I'm just a little excited............... and I'll leave it at that.  *snicker*  

Have a wonderful weekend!!   

My friend Linda and I had a plan.  I wanted two kittens and we planned to visit the animal shelters on our outing today in celebration of my birthday (Saturday).  The plan was to find the kittens, adopt them, and bring them home and tell Mom they were a gift and I could not return them.  That will show Mom, I thought, I am going to get two kittens and I don't care what fits she throws. 

Mom doesn't want another thing that she has to take care of since Dad needs a lot of care.  To be honest, I thought she was unreasonable because the kittens would be in my basement with me.  She would not have to take care of them. 

The more I thought about it, I had to laugh at my deviousness.  I even planned to take my kitty-carrier to Linda and tell Mom it was for her dog for an upcoming vet visit.  

The closer today came, more lies in my head built up, thinking I would tell a lie to cover up a lie.  Devious?  Yes, but also selfish and a liar. 

I began to feel a darkness that surrounded my thoughts of having two wonderful kitties and decided that was not what I want.  I don't want to make Mom miserable and add more to her already full plate; I love her too much to do that to her.  I also love myself and I did not like the person that was emerging with lie after lie - even if the lies were in my head.  I no longer laughed at how devious I was because my actions would hurt my mom and I couldn't go through with it. It's amazing how one can grow from something that never happened, just by looking within and not liking what one sees. 

When I get my kitties, I want it to be a really happy time and not have anything foreshadowing it.  I know I made the right decision and my conscience is clearer and lighter.  It's not the right time... not yet. 

I had a great day today with Linda - we had brunch then went to the mall while waiting for the movie to start and then we saw, I Am Legend.  Wow, what an intense movie but it was good.  Wil Smith did an excellent job; I swear, the man keeps getting better.   After the movie, we me the rest of the Motley Crew and had a nice early dinner. 

Plans for tomorrow are spending the day with my sexy man and then the family gathering for ice cream and cake tomorrow evening.  I'm thinking this will be the best birthday yet :-)  

Have a wonderful weekend - and let's hear it for the Groundhog tomorrow and hoping he won't see his shadow.   

I sit here with my heart full, perhaps fuller than it has ever been.  There was so many blessings this year along with hard times and losses.  I remember my 2007 New Year started with coming out of my bedroom that morning, on my way to my bathroom, and I was startled by my dad standing in my way.  There stood the man that I love with all my heart, who the so-called physicians at Ogden Regional Hospital said would never walk without assistance again after his 9-week hospitalization.  The physical therapists never gave up, we never gave up and most importantly, Dad never gave up.  As my eyes filled with tears, I hugged my dad to make sure it was not a dream.  He had walked down the 14 stairs to my basement to tell me that he finished his physical therapy; mastering the stairs was his last hurdle.  During last Christmas, my family kept calling Dad our Christmas miracle because along with the negative assumptions of his walking was also accompanied by the assumptions that Dad would never regain his mental faculties.  He showed them!  We're so thankful for his new doctors and for all the blessings we've had this year.  Although we still face a battle every day, he's worth it.  Laughter and love go hand-in-hand in our family and he is the root of it all. 

The first ten months of the year sped by and most everything is a blur due to me taking the toughest classes of the four years I went to school.  I sacrificed a lot over the past four years but I was determined to finish my bachelors... and I did in October.  I have my beautiful diploma but my family is waiting to celebrate it on June 14, when the graduation ceremony is scheduled. 

My nephew Tyler and his wife, Sara, brought a sweet baby boy, Caleb, into the world last summer.  Then my nephew Travis and his wife, Sara, brought sweet Eli into the world and despite having a rough start, Eli thrives.  My niece Keldi and her husband Matt are expecting their second boy this April.  Our family is growing and it's awesome to see the people I love thrive and grow.  My niece Elyssa started a special school program and her teachers agree that she is indeed, brilliant; she just cannot say all she wants to.  There is still no diagnosis but we're focusing on her growing and being happy. 

The loser, Elyssa's so-called-father (we call him the sperm donor) was released to a half-way-house in early December.  My sister called the facility where he was held and made it clear that he was not living with her.  Although she hasn't gotten a divorce yet, it's a big step for her to say "no" to him.  He tries calling her often but she ignores the calls.  Kathy suffers from bi-polar and she's had a rough time of it for the past few weeks due to a medication change but she's starting to come out of it.  I know in my heart that if she gets strong enough to divorce him, she can do anything.  The school, bus drivers, and aides have all been warned about him, in case he tries anything.  I'd actually like to have him try something... because he'd land himself back in prison. 

I am grateful for all of my family.  I drove my parents to Idaho Falls, Idaho, Friday for my Aunt Lou Jean's 80th birthday celebration.  The weather was snowy but we made it there safely and back home Saturday, despite Idaho's *cough, cough* so-called snow removal services.  The celebration was wonderful and she deserved such a lovely party.  Cousins, aunts, uncle, were there; local and those who traveled from California, Utah, and Washington.  There is so much love in my family and as I hugged those who I have not seen in years, there was no love loss.  I enjoyed catching up with them all and was honored to be part of the celebration for Lou Jean.  Not many 80 year-olds can still hula like she can. 

In other news, I met someone special at the end of October and I've hesitated in sharing it on my blog - mostly because I did not want to jinx it, however, he is part of the reason why my heart is so full.  His name is David and he's the "special friend" who lost his sister recently.  The outpour of love and support for him has not only helped him and his family but it's made me appreciate you all the more.  David is an incredible man and we have a lot of hopes for the coming year.  He has two children, a daughter (who lives with her mother) and a son (who lives with David) and he is an incredible father, which makes me adore him even more.  He's funny, sensitive, romantic (he blows my mind), caring, and strong.  He actually lives in Utah (only an hour away from me), which means I was wrong when I said, "There are not any straight, great, handsome, sexy, available men in Utah who are not dorks."   He is a little nutty because he loves my sense of humor and he indulges my *snicker* moments.  Our time together has been limited due to work conflicts and the tragedy of his sister's death, but we're patient because we know our relationship is worth waiting and fighting for. The man makes me swoon.......... even through a text message. I wonder where he's been all my life and he asked me the same; however, I know that we've both been on our own journey and the journeys finally met.  

My life is full of incredible friends - each one is special to me and I'm so blessed to have them in my life.  I wish the very best of health, happiness, and peace for each of my friends in this new year.  You all are my friends and I appreciate the love and support you've shown me over the years; you've kept me strong and I've never felt alone with you all by my side.

It's been a year full of discovering and igniting passions within myself and it feels great to feel free enough to explore the person I want to become. I am a work-in-progress and have the self-love to continue the work; my self-esteem has always been low but it's getting higher. I believe that I cannot truly love another without first loving myself. It's been a year now since I opened this place, where I share my thoughts and passions. Again, I thank you all for your friendship and for your part in my journey.

I have a request for a friend of mine, Suzanne.  Her mother passed away yesterday morning and I ask that you keep her and her family in your thoughts. 

 Happy birthday, Colin!!  Have a wonderful day!

Lubya, Colin!! 

I'm beginning to realize that life does not slow down!  I thought I'd have all sorts of time once I was out of school but now I'm wondering how I ever managed to juggle everything.

Last week was a pretty good week; there were no confrontations, thank heavens.  I did run into the "Lord of the Flies" one morning and I smiled at him and said, "Good morning," and he grumbled back something that resembled the word, "morning."  I figured I'd kill him with kindness if he was going to be a big boob about it all.  

Vickie and I were talking about the problems Dad is having and she remembered something that she researched once for her mother.  After reading the information, I'm 100% sure that Dad does not suffer from Parkinson's but from Lewy Body Dementia (LBD).  LBT includes the low dopamine in the muscles that Parkinson's does, but it also explains everything else that is going on with Dad - past and present.  It explains his severe sensitivity to sedatives, the nasty Requip, and other medications he was given in 2006 when he was so ill. I could start a rant about dad's previous neurologist that let Dad go a year before helping him then prescribed Requip that but I won't ;-) However, I do plan on writing a letter to the bastard now that I know what I know. 

I brought the info on LBD home and showed my parents and Mom remembered that Dad's neurologist mentioned it a few times but she didn't know what it was.  Now we do.  The doctor ordered an oxygen test for Dad to check his readings at night, which we should get today or tomorrow. 

Medicare, being the experts they are *cough, cough*, refused to pay for Dad's night oxygen any more because his readings were "too good."  Figure that one out.  It was working - wow - but working too well??.  The last 90 days since he hasn't had the oxygen, he began to do worse so they're starting there to find out why he's doing so bad right now.  I realize there is a natural progression of this disease, however, I'm not exhausting all the possibilities of things they can do to slow it down yet.  I don't feel it's time to give up and just keep him comfortable.  He's fighting and so are we.   

Friday was filled with fun between my company Christmas luncheon and getting together with my friends, the Motley Crew, for an early dinner.  My friend Linda went as my guest for the luncheon then we did some shopping between the two events.  My friends and I laughed and laughed at dinner, caught up with each other, and exchanged gifts.  We've vowed to get together once a month and it's been great the past few months.  We all used to work in the same building but with job changes, organization moves, and promotions, we're spread out all over now so it's nice to see one another. 

After that, I went home and picked Mom up and we went to Wally World.  We were quite brave since it was crowded but there were no run-ins with rude shoppers.  I was prepared with my sincere "Merry Christmas" line if anyone was rude.  

Saturday, I wrapped most my Christmas gifts and then got the bad news about my special someone's sister.  Thank you again for all your thoughts for him, his sister, and their family.  You are all so wonderful.

We got a surprise visit from my nephew Travis, his wife Sara, and their cute little baby Eli.  She is more adorable than ever and she's smiling now.  Click on photo to embiggen.  I captured this expression just right... she's definitely Travis' daughter - I always tease him when she farts and now, sticks her tongue out.  I held her for a few minutes and she has such a sweet spirit, she amazes me.  Mom and Dad told me that they were amazed at the connection I have with her and I think it's wonderful.  I always had this connection with Travis so it doesn't surprise me.  Sara is wonderful too and it feels as if I've known her all her life too. 

I'm so blessed to have an incredible family and friends.

Sometimes it takes me a MACK truck to wake up to all that is going on around me and to my friends.  Last week started out as a good week, until Tuesday when I let an old boss get the best of me.  However, I stood my ground and emailed him as well as several others stating that I did not appreciate how he treated me and I felt that he was wrong in doing so.  Turns out, I was right.  Not that I wanted to win because accusations, assumptions, and other factors always seem to cause nothing but trouble.  I am proud for the way I dealt with this individual, whom I refer to as "The Lord of the Flies" on my FLICKR site.  In this case, the flies weren't attracted to honey but something much more offending. 

Last week was the second week in a row that I had to deal with a jerk and there better not be a third week. 

While I was dealing with this situation and others that cropped up during the week, I missed some important events.  Deni's poor kitties had to be put down due to a rabid raccoon and she herself is undergoing the shots in case her sweet kitty, Noodles, was infected by the raccoon.  I know these kitties were more than pets - they were her babies and my heart breaks for her.  Monica is taking a break from blogging because of her son may be battling lymphoma for the second time.  She needs to focus on him and getting him well.  Vickie's mom is in kidney failure and it is taking its toll on her.  Dawn is also having a hard time right now.  All are so special to me and I ask that you keep them in your thoughts.

I'm sure there's more going on and I don't want to exclude anyone but I have not been able to visit as I want to.  My point is that I seem to get buried in my own pile of sand while others are drowning around me.  My dad's his late twin sister's daughter got married on Friday and my parents asked me to drive them to South Salt Lake for the wedding luncheon.  I thought of all I had to do this weekend and actually hesitated before saying yes.  There were a dozen reasons for saying no but they were all selfish and I'm glad I made the right choice.

My cousin literally broke out in a sob when she saw my dad walk through the door of the restaurant.  She hugged him tightly and introduced Dad to her husband, proudly.  She's always felt closer to Dad than the other siblings, probably because of him being her mom's twin and the connection they had.  Dad misses his sister every day and I know it did him good to see Jeanette happy.  As I sat next to Dad, he was so happy, he was glowing.  Then it hit me.

All we need is love.  Love from family and friends. 

I knew it before, however, I obviously need to be reminded.  It's more than the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons when I take notice of all I have to be grateful for, it's what I need to remember every minute of every day.  Focus on the beauty  and love in life... not the flies.

My dad is slowly disappearing and I feel so helpless because I am unable to fight for him.  Parkinson's disease is taking him away from us.  He has good days but lately, it seems as if it's more bad days.  Yesterday, he couldn't remember my name and it made him feel so bad and it made me feel bad too.  I hugged him and said, "Just call me Kammy as you always used to.  I liked it when you called me Kammy."  He laughed and hugged me back and as I pulled away, he had a tear in his eye.  All I can do is love him and tell him how much he means to me... which is the most important thing.  No one or anything can ever take away that love.   

Gee whiz, it's been a while since I've written my gee whizzes and you all have Dave to thank for it because of his post yesterday regarding Christmas and him knowing, G-Wiz, what I want for Christmas this year.   I don't know what's so different about this year from others.... oh, gee whiz, yes I do.  *snicker*  OK,  'nuf said.

Last week, for Thanksgiving, my responsibilities for dinner were a veggie tray and a pickle/relish tray.  Okee dokee.  Who knew it would be a self-entertainment job?  You know, with the cucumbers, carrots, and pickles...and tomatoes.  My family loves a certain type of pickle that my mom makes, it's called the sour pickle.  It's a really easy recipe, cucumbers (it's got me drooling already), canning salt, and cider vinegar.  As I was cutting the sour pickles, there was one that looked interesting enough for me to pause. 

I saw a big eye and... well... it all went downhill from that.  After I was done with the veggies and pickles, I decided to make the cream pies since Mom was running ragged.  See what a good daughter I am?  LOL  I have to admit, they were some of the best cream pies I've made.  The family flipped over the key lime, coconut cream, banana cream, and chocolate cream that I made.  Gee whiz, however, this pickle does not go well with the cream pies, taste-wise... *snicker*

The work week has gone OK; it's good to be back in a lot of ways but boy, I'm tired.  I'm SO happy today is my "Friday."  I've had a lot to do but at least it makes the day go fast.  There was one snag yesterday afternoon - an issue had to be cleared up between a coworker and myself.  The problem started at the end of October and it got worse because of time constraints and me not being at work, the feelings festered (at least on my end).  We had a mediator and it's a good thing because it would have gotten ugly.  Despite feeling as if I was put on trial, we kept working at it and it turned out well.  We used the tools that we've learned (and teach).  Gee whiz, I was really drained emotionally last night but it needed to be done and I'm glad that things are cleared now.  We have made a promise that if there's ever a question or a miscommunication, we will not be afraid to confront the other and discuss the problem right away.  I believe that it's better to be honest and timely in resolving issues instead of putting someone else through waiting and through undue stress and pain. 

Gee whiz, I'm looking forward to Friday because I get to return to the pool to work out!  YAY!!  The physical therapists have several exercises for my calves as well as the other exercises I've done before.  I never would have believed that exercises in water could make my joints hurt less if I hadn't witnessed it myself.  Gee whiz, I love it and I'm also looking forward to visiting with the ladies there - they are all so wonderful and fun. 

That's all the gee whizzes I can think of for this week... hopefully next week will be more exciting!  

Have a wonderful weekend!! 

As cheesy as some of my daily text fortunes are, there are times when one hits home.  This morning, "Friendship is a mirror" arrived to my cell phone and I stopped what I was doing and thought about how true it is.  Friends and friendships are mirrors in many ways, both superficially and deeply. 

Take honesty for example; how can one be honest with his/herself without being honest with his/her friends?  Friends help us see the real us through their actions - if our friends are true friends.  Friends won't hold back any aspects of who they are, if we share of ourselves and make it safe for them to share themselves.  I've had friends who have held back important aspects of themselves and I have to wonder if they were true friends or perhaps I did not make them feel safe enough to share with me.  I wonder if they thought I would judge them, which - if they were truly a friend, I would not.  For friends love and accept true friends for who they are.  I was guilty of withholding information from friends because of my own self-shame and being scared of being rejected, however, thinking back, I think it was more my own low self-esteem that held me back than not feeling safe in divulging that I was far from perfect.

Friends mirror how we treat our families; if we treat our families badly, surely we'll treat friends badly.  Although some family members are out of control and we justify feeling and acting badly towards them, at some point we will undoubtedly treat a friend in the same manner.  I treated my sister in this manner and although I felt justified in "tough love," I should not have called her names and ridicule her as I did.  The truth is, I can have my own devastating circumstances in the blink of an eye.  I had a friend who was involved in drugs and I tried and tried to help her - why didn't I help my sister?  The friend shut me out - but not my sister, she almost begged for my help, through her actions.  I cannot change the past but I can change the future and how I deal with my sister and it will make a difference.  In fact, it is making a difference now.  It's making a difference in how I view people with similar problems and how I try to help because who knows what a difference it can make - no matter how insignificant. 

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am aware of all I have to be thankful for and the thankfulness runs deep.  I know, without a doubt, I would not be where I am today without my friends and family.  They've helped me through the tough times and celebrated the good times.  I am blessed, indeed.   I am thankful to all my friends, far and near. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you all and your loved ones (even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving)! 

 

 

I should have been suspicious when my friend Linda entered the restaurant with a big box under her arm.  She's a sneaky one (but I must admit, she's my partner-in-crime).  Then a card was passed to everyone at the table except for me - my friends Jackie, Renate, and Sandi kept me entertained so I wouldn't ask to sign the card too or inquire what it was for.  I quickly surmised that the card and the gift were for me, for getting my degree. 

After the waitress took our order and returned with our drinks, Linda handed me the plain-paper wrapped box with a lovely orange ribbon and a white card.  I removed the card and Linda pointed out there was something missing wrapping paper and I looked and there was a large "8 inch" staring me in the face.  The waitress saw it and began to giggle as I turned beet-red.  Having memories of past gifts from my friends flash in my mind, I thought I was in for it again.  We were not at the NCO club as in years past where all sorts of naughty goodies were given for birthday and big occasions, so I hoped that being in a restaurant where families came, my friends would surely not pull another vibrating gift on me.  

After the blood left my face, I grabbed my camera for a photo while I was laughing, then took my chances of opening the gift.  I was pleasantly surprised that it did not vibrate, however, it needed electricity.  They gave me a 8 inch Video Photo Frame!  I could hardly believe my eyes; I'm spoiled. 

Speaking of being spoiled, my friends at work gave me a beautiful jewelry box, which is perfect for two other gifts I received.  Dawn gave me some gorgeous gold and amethyst earrings and Pam (Southernblog) gave me a beautiful silver and black bracelet with a silver heart with initial on it. 

The gifts mean the world to me and I will always treasure them.  I also treasure all the congratulations from all of you too.  I'm not "walking" until June, but I have my official transcripts and my company verified my degree.  My family is waiting until June for the festivities - or so I've been told.  Yesterday, at a family gathering, my aunt told me that someone should throw me a party and I laughed and said, "I'm off the party planning committee, someone else will have to take over." 

Yes, indeed.  The Party Planner Karen is off duty after the two big parties I planned this past year.  Now is MY turn to party! 

Gee whiz, it's Raggedy's birthday today!!  Go over and wish her a wonderful birthday! 

 

Lots of love to you, Raggedy!!   

 

I received a phone call from Hula's mom a few minutes ago (6:45pmish) and she told me that Hula's surgery went well today.  She is still in recovery but only because there is not a bed open but hopefully one will open soon!  The doctor should have reserved a room for her but a hospital isn't like a hotel, huh? that would make too much sense  ;-)  Hula's mom also said that Hula is sleepy still but is doing well. 

Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming because this was a tough surgery to have done, especially emotionally.  I thought I was prepared for mine three years ago until the nurse handed me the "consent to sterilize" form and it hit me like a MACK truck.   Hula is strong and an incredible lady but she needs support right now.  If you haven't already, please go over to her site and show her some love for when she returns home (in a few days). 

After she's home and settled and I have the surgery on my right leg (just to extend my calf muscle) on Tuesday, it's going to be fun to have her home recovering at the same time.  We're goofy enough without pain medication, can you imagine how much FUN we're going to have on pain meds?  Yep, it's going to be a laugh fest.  I might take it easy on her since laughing will hurt her more than it will hurt me... oh heck, I'll be nice and just be myself.  *evil grin* 

Hula is undergoing surgery today so please wish her well and keep her in your thoughts.  She's a sister of my heart and I love her to bits.  She emailed me and asked me to "Wish me good and easy gutting." 

She is keeping her sense of humor... which is good... because she's going to get phone call from me tomorrow to make her giggle just as she did to me on my gutting in Oct 2005.  I believe it was all about the breathing apparatus that I had to suck air through... the hose looked like something else. I also sent her Larry the Cable Guy's "Morning Constitution" to make sure she'd have some laughs while recovering... it IS the best medicine after all. 

LOVE YOU, HULA!!!