Before my proper post, I want to thank everyone again for all your thoughts and prayers for little Eli.  I held her on Saturday and she's a fighter - she will be just fine.  Travis and Sara brought her home from the hospital yesterday.  I'm going to Salt Lake on Friday to go to a small photo fair and I will take dinner to Travis and Sara and see little Eli again.   There are photos of my visit on my Flickr site, if you'd like to see them.   

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Almost a year ago when I began the journey to follow my passions, I felt as if I was on the cusp of my life changing. I wanted to toss the old baggage that was holding me back from pursuing what I truly wanted to do. It was an exciting time and I felt a new "Karen" emerging.

Then as time passed, I was buried under all the high level classes and the homework and I felt some of that new "Karen" disappeared, perhaps I was too tired to fight. But at the same time, the new "Karen" was working hard at finishing school. The way I dealt with stress changed (somewhat) when I found that taking ten minutes and going outside to take photos made me calmer than if I were to take a xanax. When I had my camera in my hands, my senses were heightened, not numbed.

Now that my classes are behind me, I have such a burning desire to continue to learn and have new adventures. I feel as if I have been given a second chance at life and I do not plan to waste it. As I go through my transformation, I find myself at a loss for words or rather, I feel that I've written the words before.  I looked back at my English assignments and sure enough, two years ago for English class, the assignment was to write, "If I were a bird, which would I be and why."  The words I wrote ring true more today than they did then.  And so it begins...

Out of the Ashes

I am the one and only Phoenix; some say I am a myth, but I do exist. My enemies have done their best to destroy me, to throw me into a pit of fire from which, they believe, I will never return. My death is nothing more than the rebirth of the sun; I shall rise again.

As a Phoenix, I have the keenest of eyes to spot predators, and the inner vision to sense danger around me. I represent beauty of the self, and all that beauty can be. My virtue is above reproach and my spirit flies higher than the heavens. My flight is graceful and symbolizes the greatest of strengths and freedoms that human beings can possess.

My feathers are black, white, red, green, and yellow; the colors represent justice, strength, loyalty, honesty, and grace. I strive to be fair in all judgments and hold the highest regard for friends and loved ones. My loyalty is steadfast, and my honesty allows me set an example for those around me. Grace flows through my wings and spreads to the world below as I soar in the heavens above.

My core desire is to bring goodwill to all the creatures in the world and to crush any ill will that exists. With every fiber of my being, I believe good wins over evil and differences should be resolved peacefully before going to war. However, I will fight fiercely to the death with those who harm any member of my flock. Pure love for others fills me, which keeps my eternal fire burning brightly inside my soul.

I have fought many difficult battles and faced numerous challenges; yet, each time I emerge from the flames and ashes, stronger, victorious, and ready for the continued fight against the dark forces. The Phoenix rises once again.